Tuesday, April 26, 2011

And for something completely different..

I should be editing videos. (Ben just said "Yes, you should be!") This is occupying my brain instead. Some fiction involving everyone's favourite Azerothian gnome.

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Reeska stood at the edge of Dolomaar and sniffed the air. It seemed strangely sweet, a sickly sweetness that seemed to permeate the breeze and infiltrate the sinuses. There was an odd amount of giggling - fully grown night elves giggling like children as they clutched baskets that made them run around at ridiculous speeds. Little fuzzy bunnies were hopping everywhere.

"Why don't you have a tail?" a piping voice asked from somewhere around her hip.

Reeska looked down to discover a gnome with cotton-candy pink hair bouncing up and down on her toes beside her. "Because I am in my human guise?" Reeska answered, still disliking the rough edge to her voice. It was if a thousand nights of screaming and howling had forever darkened her voice.

"Nono, silly!" The gnome slapped her on the leg. Well, it was a slap for a gnome, it was more a light swat to the worgen druid. "When you're a doggie. Why don't you have a tail?"

Reeska's eyebrows raised in surprise at the rudeness and directness. "I am never a 'doggie'. I am occasionally cursed to wear the form of an anthropomorphic wolf. As for the lack of tail, I would not know. I would imagine you would have to find a druid of the scythe and ask them."

"Where would I find one of them, then?" The gnome asked ingeniusly.

"Hopefully in the forever dark being tormented by a thousand stinging fire ants." Reeska snarled and turned away from the gnome.

"I'm Mishke GoesBoom." The gnome said, circling around to stand in front of Reeska. "You're a druid right? But not of these scythe guys, right?"

Reeska closed her eyes and pushed the anger and beast back down. Biting the head off a gnome might make her popular with some factions of the alliance, she doubted the night elves would be one of them. For some masochistic reason, they seemed awfully fond of the little irritants. "I am a student of Mathrengyl Bearwalker." She counselled patience to herself once more. "I am Reeska."

"A pleasure to meet you, Reeska!" Mishke held out a small, plump, hand. "Are you hear to watch the bunnies?"

Reeska tentatively shook the hand with thumb and forefinger. "No." She wondered, like thousands of people before her, how to make a gnome go away.

"I'm not a huge fan of Noble garden, myself." Mishke continued on, obliviously. "Running around searching for eggs? Why not just get some hens?" She shook her head, "No offense, but humans are strange."

Reeska was amused and gave the gnome a half-smile, "Yes, we are."

Mishke looked like she was going to say something then changed her mind, "Of course, if someone blows up the hen house - which, by the way, was a totally understandable accident, his feet were very cold, I guess bunnies that poop chocolate eggs would be a good second choice. I can't say though, I'd really want to eat pooped eggs."

Reeska blinked several times rapidly. The gnome had a point.

"But, the kids do seem to like it!" Mishke said as a mixed group of children ran past. "The Draenei certainly caught on quick, didn't they?"

"They're children." Reeska said, as if it was obvious.

"Right." Mishke agreed, "And, uhm?"

"Children. Chocolate." Reeska extrapulated.

"Ooooooh. Riiiiight." Mishke said, rocking back on her heels. "Well, this was fun, but I have to go make sure the rabbits don't eat the fireworks. You wouldn't believe what those little guys can get into!"

"Bye." Reeska managed as the gnome ran off, ponytail bobbing behind her. She rubbed her temples and wondered if she could take up the offer of the Gilnean restoration team after all. Certain death in the nightmare city could only be less painful.

She sensed her companion before she saw him, she turned to look at the high elf who raised one blonde eyebrow to her, glowing green eyes seeming to dance. They stood in silence for several long minutes. "No, I have no interest in sniffing out eggs."

He smiled. "Its for a good cause, Reeska. Think of the injured orphans."

She rolled her eyes at him. "You have a wolf, ask him to do it."

He snorted, "Cisa has too much dignity to rummage around in the bushes."

She turned to stare at the hunter with open mouthed shock. "Oh, and I should just grow fur and a nose, ditch my own dignity and rummage around in the bushes for you?"

He smiled and gave her a half-bow. "Of course. It's a holiday. It's for children." He tilted his head to one side and looked at her thoughtfully as she growled under her breath. "Unless you're worried you'd eat the bunnies?"

"I will not eat the bunnies!" Reeska snapped. ONE incident where her worgen nature had grabbed control when she was learning how to track in cat form, and no one was willing to let her forget it. It wasn't as if the screech owl had been traumatized beyond a few lost tail feathers."

Another grin and Doilan slipped his arm through her's, "Come, Reeska. You take yourself too seriously. You must learn to relax and have fun."

"Says the man who once bathed himself in blood for power." She growled, and instantly regret it as he stiffened. She sighed, and hugged the arm he'd started to pull away. "I'm sorry Doilan. I'm just.." She gestured with her free hand, "Missing what it is to be human, I guess." Another sigh. "I can wear the mask, but I'm still other."

"Other is not so bad." He said, turning her so he could kiss the tip of her nose. "I quite like it, myself."

The rapid blinking again and then another round of shoving her worgen nature back down as a surge of emotion ripped through her. "Damn."

Doilan laughed and took her hand, "I know. You still have a lot of progress to make, but I am in no hurry. I have centuries."

"That makes one of us," Reeska grumbled as she let him tug her along.

"Really? Have you ever seen grey fur on a worgen?" He asked, head tilted to one side.

"What?" She said, pulling him to a stop.

It was his turn to look pained, "I thought Bearwalker.." He shook his head, "Obviously not." He pulled her over to a nearby bench, lightly tapping two rabbits to move aside. He patted the bench beside him, and she sat down carefully. While noble garden rabbits tended to make bell like sounds as they hopped, they still had a frightening ability at sneaking up on you. "You are infected my magic, entwined with the dream, and further woven with more magic. You won't age so much as you will eventually just .. lose your connection with the weave of the world and stop being."

"Much like elves?" Reeska replied, more a statement than a question.

"Much like elves." He agreed. "Though, Night Elves do tend to live longer than High Elves, and we both live longer than Blood Elves."

"Burn the power, enjoy your life, leave a good looking corpse." Reeska said, showing a glimmer of her old humour.

"Well, its more a splatter of sparkling lights." Doilan said with a wry smile. "So.."

Reeska ran a hand over her face, "It's another thing to get used to, I suppose." She turned to him, "Centuries, really?"

"I like you, Lady Niliana now Reeska," he said formally, "But I do not wish to have parts of my anatomy very dear to me bitten off in the heat of passions."

Reeska stared at him, blushed, and then laughed. For a race of beings her mother had insisted were the height of nobility and glory, Doilan could be remarkably .. earthy, sometimes.

"There, you smile. Come, let us let some children infect us with their own joy, gather some chocolate and bring it to the hospice, yes?" He rose with ageless grace and Reeska couldn't help but shake her head and follow him.

Rabbits scattered as they came towards the moonwell, bells jingling merrily. "I'm thinking I know why elves like Noble Garden so much." Reeska said, running her free hand through her now much shorter hair.

"Hmm?" Doilan prompted.

She touched his nearer ear and caressed its underside. "Awfully rabbit like, those ears."

Doilan stood very still under her touch and then broke into a wide grin, "That, my dear, is the least of our rabbit like qualities."

Friday, April 15, 2011

Bunny Humour

Maurice, an animal loving Frenchman was disheartened to find that Paris didn't have a rabbit rescue. He decided it was long overdue and he would organize one. While he could find plenty of rabbits to rescue, he was having trouble finding housing for them. He went to businesses, chatted up his friends, talked to charities and no one had room. Finally the Archbishop contacted him and said he could keep them out back of the cathedral if he promised to keep them quiet and clean. Extatic, Maurice phoned his wife, "Daria, good news! I've got a hutch back of Notre Dame!"

*adjusts halo*

Sunday, April 10, 2011

It must be Easter..

I sent this around to my Facebook friends, but I thought I'd repost here for others to pass on if they'd like.

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If you've heard my Bunnies are the third most common pet in N. America and the most misunderstood speech before, skip to the end. :)

Animals lovers, I contact you today in hopes of spreading a little education and gaining your help in stopping some ignorance. Whether you have cats, dogs, turtles, birds, a pig in the barn.. I think all of you know that uncontrolled breeding is a *BAD THING!* A female rabbit can put out a litter of 6 - 8 kits every thirty two days. ("Can't add or subtract, but boy, can they multiply!")

Bunnies need room for exercise and play, just like cats and dogs. They're active around dawn and dusk, or if their human is one of those day slaves, typically as you're trying to get ready for work ("Pet me!") and then ignore you for a couple hours when you come home from work. ("Do you have dandelions? Meh. I'll continue my nap.") Rabbits are litterbox trainable. They're very curious and hyperactive little demons.. er, I mean darlings. They like to chew, dig, play, dance, and some have a vocabulary for communicating with their pet humans.

Commonly rabbits get advertised by breeders and pet stores as "starter pets" or "quiet, low maintenance animals, like hamsters." Unfortunately, it's not true. They may seem boring in the classroom, but imagine a cat stuck in that cage all day, with kids poking and yelling.. and worse yet, imagine if that cat was a prey animal! Far from their ideal home! They're also expensive to take care of when they get sick. They have delicate bones and digestive systems and they can't have penicillan. (Amongst other little quirks.)

It's Easter time once more. The tragedy of Easter is that so many people buy a rabbit on a whim and then as soon as said rabbit hits puberty - instead of getting it in to be fixed (and solving a lot of those, ah, overly social, activities) they just dump them out in the wild. The only thing bunnies can do in the wild is be eaten. The average life span of a bunny out in the wild is about a week, the poor things have *zero* survival instincts! The "nicer" dump the bunny off at the already overfull shelters and rescues, where if the bunny is lucky, it isn't euthanised within a couple weeks.

What this lecture is leading up to (are you at the top back with me now?) .. There's a mall in Edmonton, AB that is hosting a rabbit show for Easter. They will be handing out information from breeders on where you can buy your very own cute little pet bunny. And let's face it, breeders, for the most part, need to make money. Yes, there's responsible breeders like my friend Lena (*waves*) but unfortunately, their furchildren get outnumbered very quickly by the puppy mills, the bunny mills, the kitty cat mills all too quickly.

So please, if you have time, write a letter of protest to the Bonnie Doone Shopping Centre at : emills@morguard.com .. Anything from a nice long lecture (You know I typed up one of those!) to a "Please research rabbit care at http://www.rabbit.org before you encourage their sale to the general public."

For more information on the joys of bunnies and easters, feel free to visit http://www.makeminechocolate.org/

Thank you.